


Eyes Closed

by ashleyblake



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyblake/pseuds/ashleyblake
Summary: angst in part 1fluff in part 2





	1. Chapter 1

“Newt. Newt. NEWT!”  
“Hmm?”  
“God’s sake Newt, do I even exist?”  
“Why of course you do Y/N, I love you-“  
“No stop. Please.”  
It was too hard. Your boyfriend was obviously passionate about what he did, and you had absolutely no problem with that. But there is a limit between how much time he should spend with his creatures and how much he should spend with you.  
For the past couple weeks, you were like a ghost in the house. You two had numerous arguments about this already, about how Newt was definitely absorbed by his creatures; but he would usually come around.  
This feeling was absolutely the worst. Seeming unimportant, seeming always like the plan b. And today was the last time you wanted to feel this way.  
If Newt couldn’t give you an ounce of attention, maybe he wasn’t ready for a relationship.  
His hand snaked around your waist as he murmured  
“You mean the world to me Y/N.”  
“It doesn’t feel like it.” You said, backing away.  
“I’m so sorry, you know I don’t do it on purpose; it’s just been hectic recently and the book is due soon and-“  
“Look, I know you’re busy. We all have our busier times, but Newt. It has been a week you spend every night down in your case. It has been two weeks we don’t go to bed together and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It’s been three since we had a proper romantic date to ourselves.” You said, your voice cracking as your vision blurred slightly.  
“I need you Newt.”  
“I’m truly sorry Y/N, I promise I will make it up-“  
“I’m sick of this! I’m sick of being cast aside and then you always “making it up to me” to cast me away again later on! It hurts too much.”  
“I-I” Newt stammered, panic in his eyes.  
He really fucked up this time, he thought to himself.  
“It hurts too much to be with you, we’re in a serious relationship and that’s what I expect it to feel like, but instead it feels like a on again off again thing indecisive teens have.”  
“I’m sorry Y/N, please I’m begging you; you’re the love of my life-“  
You wiped the tears off your face with the back of your hand.  
“I’m sorry too. But it’s not working, and the longer I stay, the more I break inside. It’s just, maybe it’s not meant to be…”  
“Y/N don’t say that.”  
“Fuck I’m sorry. I love you too but I just can’t, I just can’t carry on like this.”  
You took your bag and walked out the door.  
Walking down the street you broke down in tears, them blurring your vision as you took fast steps away from your apartment. You heard Newt call out desperately behind you, but you just carried on even faster.  
Walk away, and forget. Move on, you told yourself. It’s time you stop hurting. But how can you stop the pain if the one who hurt you is also the one who can heal you?  
And where the hell were you going? Home was with Newt, you had literally nowhere else. Queenie and Tina were in another country, and your parents loved Newt and would for sure never cease to bring him up.  
And so, you turned to something you rarely turned to, only in your most desperate times: alcohol.  
Stopping in the middle of a random street you didn’t realize your feet brought you on, you turned on the spot and landed in front of a poster with a woman with bright red lips.  
Entering the pub, you headed straight to the bar as the jazz filled your ears.  
You obviously weren’t thinking clearly. Barely thinking at this point was more accurate.  
“House-elf.”  
“Boy do you look a mess.”  
“Ain’t that the truth. Gimme something that’ll hit me fast. And hard.”  
The house elf pulled out a bottle of Blishen’s Firewhiskey and poured some in 10 shot glasses.  
“You asked for it miss.” He said, before handing you the line of cups.  
You downed one, two, three easily. You were a little bit of a lightweight, so by the sixth you were gone. All sense of judgement was gone, heck all feeling was gone.  
You started looking around. You smiled to yourself drunkenly. Taking out your wand, you changed your outfit into a tight black dress that had a plunging neck line and a slit that went up a little too high up the side of your thigh.  
Immediately, you realised you caught the eye of many many men. You noticed one of them looking at you in a manner that you couldn’t realize, so you stared teasingly back.  
Under the influence, you made your way slowly to him. All this time, his eyes did not leave you and you loved the attention. You smiled at him mysteriously as you approached.  
“Why hello there. I don’t see you here that often.” He whispered to you as you came very close to him.  
“I’m guessing you’re a regular here?”  
“Yes, but I have never seen such a thing as you.”  
You bit your lip up at him as he put his hand on your waist.  
“May I have this dance?” He asked.  
“Why of course.”  
The gentleman led you closer to the band and put both hands on your hips and pulled you closer. You swayed to the music, your eyes never leaving his. He was charming you, and the longer you felt his touch, the more you craved him.  
“Why don’t we go somewhere more private?” he whispered into your ear.  
You nodded. He grabbed you closer to him and spun.  
Landing, you found yourself in a motel hallway. The Disapparition must’ve sobered you up a tad however, because you became conscious of what was going to happen.  
But not conscious enough to stop it, and not enjoy it.  
The stranger planted his lips on yours, and you reached behind your back to open the door to the nearest room, which was empty. You hopped and put your legs around him, as he supported you and lead you to the bed.  
You both collapsed on top of it, and him on top of you started kissing your neck.  
Your vision blurred with pleasure. As you closed your eyes, your sense of touch heightened. And his skin on yours felt just like Newt’s. His lips on you felt just like Newt.  
If you closed your eyes just a little bit harder, you could imagine him being Newt.  
He felt just like him.  
And as pleasure washed over you, you moaned out  
“Newt.”


	2. Eyes Closed Part 2

« What the fuck bitch, who is Newt? »  
“I’m so sorry, I just broke up with-“  
“Ugh I’m out of here.”  
And the man picked up his clothes and left the room with a slam of the door.  
+  
Y/N gathered up the sheets together, trying to warm herself up from the unescapable cold she felt from her loneliness. Slowly in between her sobs, she fell asleep. Only to be woken up the next morning to be screamed at by the motel manager.  
+  
Newt spent three hours after Y/N’s departure staring at the wall. There were no tears, for this feeling he felt was beyond crying. The pain he felt demanded to be felt for a lifetime, and not only for a short hour. His pain would not let him cry and get his release.  
+  
Three days later, Y/N had joined Tina and Queenie. Their presence distracted her from her emptiness and her days were filled with fun and distractions. When night came, she would bundle up in her blankets and cry to sleep, counting the hours till sunrise.  
+  
It has been three days that Newt has been in bed. He was stuck in a vicious cycle of crying, sleeping, and staring into nothingness. He had sent a quick owl to Jacob, who came to take care of his creatures as well as Newt himself.  
+  
One week after the breakup. Y/N kept her schedule busy and packed every day, and would sometimes fall asleep easily at night from the tiredness. The number of nights she would cry and play memories of Newt diminished to five a week.  
+  
Never has Newt slept so much in his life since his days as a baby. Sleeping was escaping from reality.  
“Newt. Hey dude. You gotta wake up, get some exercise or something. You’re becoming bedridden.”  
“Jacob I don’t want to. I also don’t want to sleep, but I don’t want to get up either. I don’t want to do anything. Anything I do, I will end up being discontent. Help me Jacob, I’ve never been this way before.” Newt choked that last part.  
Jacob sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.  
“Let’s go to your case. Pay your babies a visit eh?”  
+  
Three weeks. Y/N was a little burnt out from the life she had started, but nevertheless pretty happy.  
+  
Twenty-one days later, Newt had found a little balance. He now ate and slept. He spent big amounts of times with his creatures. He was still unable to step out of the house.  
+  
One month later.  
Y/N walked down the streets of New York, a slight spring to her step. She had just nailed a job interview. To carry on with the whole moving on from Newt thing, she had decided to abandon the practice of care of magical creatures and moved on to wandlore. It wasn’t something she was terribly fascinated in and it would never replace magical beasts, but it would have to do.  
Newt stepped outside his little apartment and walked around the block, getting his daily dose of sunshine. He was doing better, going back to older times when he was alone and spoke only to his creatures. He had lived the first 25 years of his life this way, he could surely carry on for more.  
+  
Three months later  
It was a random Sunday night. Nothing really catastrophic has happened, it was an ordinary day. However, there lied Y/N on her bed sobbing her heart out, pictures and letters splayed across her bedroom floor. Moving pictures of Newt and her, one of them hugging, one of them swimming together, one of Y/N falling asleep on Newt’s lap as Newt stuck his tongue out to the camera. Letters of friendship, letters of love they wrote to each other, reflecting the evolution of their relationship. Without thinking, Y/N picked them up and reached out to the fire. Her fingers loosened, before shaking and clamping back down on the papers. She then stored them safely underneath a drawer of clothes. Her relationship was gone, but she did want to preserve the memories.  
Newt closed the door behind him, content of his morning stroll. He had ventured a bit further than the street he lived on, and even enjoyed a cup of tea at a café. Suddenly he remembered his order. Matcha green tea. He always stuck to normal English Black tea, but for some reason he had ventured from it this morning. It was Y/N’s favourite. Dropping onto the couch he lazily grabbed a pillow and closed his eyes. Not every day was going to be a good day.  
+  
Half a year later  
Six months have gone by, at times very fast especially during those activity-filled days, at times very slowly during those lonesome nights.  
Y/N had gotten the position at Beauvais Wands, an apprenticeship under the founder Violetta Beauvais.  
Today she was going to go into a forest on the outskirts of Ilvermorny, on the lookout for unicorns. Beauvais hoped to get some decent unicorn tail hairs for cores since her supply was running low, and that unicorn hair cored wands were trending right now.  
They set off bright and early in the morning, their day consisting mainly of walking through the woods with their eyelids peeled.  
Y/N remembered rescuing a baby unicorn with Newt once. It was one of their very first missions.  
Newt awoke and went to fetch the newspaper. A small article caught his attention.  
“Sighting of unicorns in a forest near Ilvermorny. Muggles Obliviated. Unicorns escaped.”  
Interesting, he thought. The old flame of curiosity lit up. He could not resist the idea of seeing unicorns. And so he went to pay a visit to his dear friends Tina and Queenie.  
“Newt! What a pleasant surprise!”  
“Hello! I’d love to erm stay to catch up, but I have something to do first.”  
“Still on the never-ending hunt for magical creatures I see.” Tina smiled.  
“I was wondering, what forest is close to Ilvermorny?”  
“That’ll be Ecclestone. Yeah, we used to go there to try and spot magical creatures, before it was banned of course.”  
“Cool thanks! I’ll see you guys later!” turning on the spot, Newt disapparated, Ecclestone Forest in his mind.  
Y/N and Violetta have been walking for some time now. Suddenly, they heard a branch snap.  
The spinning ended and Newt landed, a little dizzy on a branch.  
Y/N turned her head and there in all magnificence was a unicorn, almost glowing so pure and white it was.  
Newt recognized at once the faint white light he saw.  
Violetta sneaked up behind the unicorn, ready to pluck out a few hairs.  
Newt approached the unicorn and saw a wandmaker creeping up behind it with tweezers. Well this was not good, he thought.  
Violetta plucked a hair out of the tail, and the unicorn let out a pained hiss and ran off.  
“What did you just do?!” Newt shouted out.  
Y/N froze. She knew that voice. She had heard that voice in every emotion possible. She had heard that voice murmur soft nothings every night as she slept, she had heard that voice tell her endless stories about his life with enthusiasm, she had heard that voice tell her words of love.  
Taking a deep, deep breath she poked her head out of the bush she was standing behind. She felt the air get lodged in her lungs and stay there.  
Newt.  
She ducked back behind the bush, clutching her chest hoping it would calm down her breathing a bit. She was getting light-headed, and slowly losing the feeling in her arms.  
“Violetta, I’m sorry I can’t carry on with this job.” She muttered, before Disapparating.  
+  
Three days have passed since Y/N had saw Newt in the forest. She had quit her job at the wandmaker’s, realizing that she wasn’t going to be able to do what they did to creatures.  
Those three days, she did nothing but think. She didn’t go out, and only left her room for meals. She thought, thought about how she met Newt, thought about their first kiss, thought about how and why their relationship ended. And thought about whether she could keep lying to herself that she didn’t need him in her life. She thought, about how she wanted to have the feeling of being with him again.  
She had set her mind. Getting up the next morning, she brushed her hair and braided it the way she did the day Newt first set her eyes on her. She dressed up comfortably and put on her cream colored coat. Taking a deep breath, she stepped outside the door and Disapparated.  
“Bye Y/N, see ya later!” Queenie called out behind a mug of coffee.  
Once the dizziness ended, Y/N found herself in front of Newt’s apartment. Climbing up the steps she rang the doorbell.  
Newt woke up that morning, with a slight headache. It was one of those days, he thought to himself. What he meant was he was going to have one of those days where all he did was sit around and reminisce about Y/N and look at old photos. He picked up a picture taken last autumn. It was of Y/N taking a pile of red and orange leaves and throwing them up in the air. She laughed, and Newt admired her. Admired how her braided hair rested on Newt’s yellow and black striped scarf he was wearing. How his scarf looked so good against her cream colored coat.  
He felt teardrops fall on the scarf he was wearing, the very same one from the picture. Suddenly, he heard the doorbell.  
He slowly slugged out of his seat and opened the door. He almost fell backwards at the sight in front of him.  
There stood Y/N, with her hair braided, in her cream colored coat cinched at her waist.  
“Oh my g-god, it’s you-Y/N you’re here, it’s you and”  
He spluttered and before he knew it, he wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her against him.  
Y/N put her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. Newt buried his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent he had not been able to find anywhere else. He kept on holding her, just as tightly as he had started. Y/N felt his arms around her and lifted one hand to touch Newt’s soft hair. She closed her eyes, smiled and tasted the salty tears.  
She closed her eyes, and she felt at home.


End file.
